Sunday, February 26, 2006

The Reality Olympics

Tim mentioned on his blog recently that the Olympics are a bit farcical since it is basically the richest countries in the world showing off what they can do with massive leisure time. I agree, and to even the field, I propose we include events that third-world countries are great at. Like the Survive on 150 Calories Per-Day for 10 Years event. Or the Endure 200 years of Colonization Marathon. The Skating on the Brink of Starvation would be a crowd favorite and the African Biathalon, where lucky participants will drag a plastic jug of dirty water for 15 miles while shooting a Kalashnikov at marauding bands of Arab murderers.

Why can't these countries just pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and play the capitalism game like the rest of us? Sure, we or other countries colonized and demoralized them for decades if not centuries, and sure, we plundered their resources, discouraged their language and religion, supported nasty dictators and corrupt regimes, but why can't they just stand up when our foot is still on their necks? Maybe they need to rely on human bondage and exploitation like we did to rise to be the foremost economic engine on the planet?

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